We all live in two worlds, the external and the internal. Although we can influence the external world, it is within our internal world where we will make the most difference in ourselves and with those around us.
By changing our own negative core beliefs into a positive energy exchange between head and heart, we transform and so do the things that surround us.
Are you ready to get out of your own way?
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery
A soulful, sentimental, truly worthwhile relationship should make you feel rejuvenated, positive, refreshed, supported, and motivated- not depleted, damaged, unwanted, or unworthy! If spending time with a significant other or loved one leaves you regularly feeling any of the latter, you might be experiencing what is known as a “toxic” relationship! Toxic relationships can strike in any area of your life, not just in your love life. Often, unhealthy emotional interactions occur between lovers, but mothers, sons, daughters, fathers, sisters, brothers, in-laws, friends, acquaintances and coworkers can all bring toxicity to your life too.
“You’ll never be chosen for that promotion at work. Look at yourself! Get it together.” “I know that you have a major test to take tomorrow morning, but c’mon, you know I’m more important than studying!” “Why even bother buying that treadmill? We both know you’ll
They can end marriages, ruin family reunions, and even lead to the loss of an old friend, so conflicts are always bad, right? Wrong! Actually, conflicts are quite necessary for healthy relationships to develop! They just need to be managed effectively. When at least one of the parties involved keeps a cool head and proper conflict management is put into effect, a disagreement can lead to a discovery that makes for a stronger relationship; an argument can lead to an open, honest discussion where an arrangement that all are happy with can be reached!
The basic steps to conflict resolution have probably been drilled into your head by now- you just might prefer avoiding the drama of conflict to actually going through them. That’s understandable to a degree, but if you consistently avoid dealing with even minor disagreements, don’t be
Breakups suck. When a flame dies down you get left with a lot of empty space and time to fill. You’ll find a lot of (often unsolicited) advice on how to deal, but that doesn’t mean you should follow it all! Here are some popular post-breakup behaviors that might feel good at first, but will leave you feeling even worse than before later!
1. Bad-mouthing your ex
While it might make you feel better to bad-mouth him/her right now, it’ll only make you feel like a hypocrite later! You saw something in them once, and that’s got to count for something! deciding that you are no longer compatible as a couple doesn’t mean that you can’t at least be civil to each other! Even if your ex turned out to be a liar or a cheat- taking the high road
What is the foundation of any healthy relationship?
Is it trust? Love? Laughter? Lust? No? Then what? Think about it…. What is necessary- what needs to come first- for all of these other components of a relationship to take root? Communication, of course! You cannot build trust with another person without getting to know them first! Similarly, it would be awfully hard to fall in love with someone if you could never speak to, see, or reach out to them. Communication, in the form of body language, has a great deal to do with lust, as well.
There a number of forms of communication, including verbal, nonverbal (anything besides spoken words- i.e. gestures, facial expressions, and aspects of physical appearance) communication. Each of them are equally important, and you use all of them daily whether you realize it or not.
Guilt and Self-Doubt
You may not have realized it before, but self-doubt and guilt usually burst into your life hand-in-hand, each adding fuel to the other’s fire. In the simplest of explanations, self-doubt is a lack of faith in oneself. It can stem from low self-esteem, or from how others perceive (or how you believe they perceive) you and your abilities. It can sometimes arise after an alleged failure, but more often a series of ‘failures’ or incidents in which others have openly questioned your character and abilities must take place before self-doubt can set in too deeply. You may feel self-doubt before taking a big test, while applying to college, before giving birth to your first child, or when being given an award you don’t think you deserve.
On the other hand, guilt can be cultivated much more quickly.