Have you ever felt like you just weren’t “getting through” to your husband or boyfriend? Isn’t it funny that the sex that has the greatest need for communication can often fail completely when it comes to effectively communicating with their male counterparts?
News flash ladies: Men don’t think like women. Men don’t communicate like women. Men don’t process communication like women. Do it wrong, and you risk driving a wedge between you that can ultimately lead to the destruction of the relationship.
So…want to know how to communicate effectively? Are you ready to learn the secrets of the male mind? To teach them to you we are going to look at the tactics used by every woman’s archenemy: THE OTHER WOMAN!
Yep, we are going to examine the tactics used by the women who steal a man away. You may hate what they do, but you can learn from it as well. Ready?
In most cases, before a woman can successfully steal a man away she first convinces him that she is there to listen. Men are not copious talkers. Well, at least most men. However, when they decide to talk, they want someone who will listen. They don’t want to be analyzed, or questioned. They just want to be heard.
If a man decides to open up and talk, then you better be there to listen. If you are not there, or have proven to him that you don’t want to be there, then that is where the other woman comes in. Are you listening now?
Men don’t like to play guessing games. When you need to say something, be clear about it. When he asks you a question, then answer it. If he loves you, he will play twenty questions for a while, but it will soon get old.
Men appreciate clear, direct communication. Tell them what you want, and tell them what you feel. Men aren’t mind readers, and they will get tired of hints, and vague suggestions.
Men don’t respond well to criticism. They have fragile egos that are bruised easily. If they are trying to communicate with you, and you respond by telling him that something is silly, or wrong, or whatever; you are going to hurt his ego, and he will not try it again.
Remember, the “other woman” convinces your man that he is interesting and smart. She tells him his ideas are worth listening to. She encourages him to talk to her. She is careful not to bruise his ego. That is how she wins. If you want to win, then you have to play her game. It works. You don’t have to agree with everything he says, but you don’t have to voice your criticism either.
For example, you husband or boyfriend comes to you, and with excitement announces a plan he has for work. Your response is to say something like, “Why would you do that? I thought yesterday you said you were going to_________________.” (You fill in the blank.)
This is pouring cold water on his excitement, and you can bet he won’t be so quick to share his excitement with you the next time. Tread carefully.
What do you think? Do you think playing by the other woman’s rules is a bad idea? Are you brave enough to try? Why would you want to make it easy for her? You can almost guarantee that if you want your man, then someone else does as well. You have to play for keeps. I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject.