The thought of having a heartfelt, emotional conversation with a member of the opposite sex can be terrifying for most men. The biggest reason for this may be that men are generally not adept at verbal communication, and they tend to avoid anything they are not comfortable doing. Guys can spend the entire day together with only a few grunts, nods, and the occasional rude body noise, and still feel like they have had great interaction and communication. Ladies, however, require a bit more finesse and attention than that. As a matter of fact, rude body noises are off the list entirely. Don’t do it.
So how can a guy learn to communicate with their female counterparts in a meaningful way? How can he connect with her in a way that will build love and security in the relationship? Never fear. I am here to offer some great tips designed to help you communicate like a woman! Okay, probably not, but I can at least help you communicate with your gal in a way she will understand and appreciate.
Verbal vs. Non-Verbal
I realize that there are men of different life stages reading this post. If you are from the generation that didn’t have the smart technology we have today; chances are your wife or girlfriend values verbal communication over text based communication. Come to think of it, verbal communication always trumps non-verbal. You cannot connect effectively or transfer emotions successfully over text. I don’t care how many emoticons you use, or how many times you type LOL, it just isn’t the same.
Women value in person, verbal communication. If she sends you a text, and the answer can wait until you see her a little later on, try texting back something like, “Great idea…can we talk about it in person when we get together for dinner tonight?” This says that you are interested in face to face, verbal communication. It says you are plugged in.
Listen vs. Solve
Guys are problem solvers. Even when they look like they are listening, they are actually already formulating their next response, or the solution to the problem being expressed. It takes a mammoth effort for a guy to turn off the part of his brain that wants to be the problem solver.
Listen guys, she doesn’t always want your solutions. She wants your attention. I heard of a man whose wife took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her while saying, “Listen to me with your face!” You don’t always have to speak. Listening communicates concern and engagement to your girl. And don’t try faking it. They can always tell when a guy is faking it. (And yes, I am still talking about listening!J)
Yep, still on communication here. I know how your minds work! Okay, back to the subject. When you are communicating with your lady, don’t be afraid to go deep. Don’t be afraid to get intense. Really focus in on what she is saying, and feel her emotion. If she wants to “share” then you share as well. Nothing draws a woman in like a man who will open up and be intentionally real with her. Emotions may not be your strong area but that is no excuse. Learn to communicate on her level. It will pay in dividends. (Yep…now you can let your mind go there!)
Okay, now it’s your turn. What communication secrets have you learned? Have you made some really dumb mistakes that you can share with us? Please take a moment and share your insights, and opinions. Your thoughts are always awesome!