A girl’s guide to greater intimacy.  Are you turning him off?

avoid turning him off

Are you turning him off?

As hard as it is to believe, it is possible to stifle a guy’s desire for sex.  No…seriously…quit laughing!  Maybe I should have clarified that first statement.  It is possible to stifle a guy’s desire for sex with YOU!  There is that better?  No?  Well then just take my word for it.

Okay, enough joking.  Behaving in a way that comes between you and your guy, and the intimacy you enjoy is a serious matter. Guys may not be turned off by the same thing as girls (we are after all talking about the creatures who are turned on by the sight of women wrestling in the mud!) but they still do have some buttons that can put a damper on things.  On the chance that you may want to avoid doing those things, I would like to list a few of them for you.

The Ego-Buster

Nothing is tied quite so tightly to a man’s ego as his performance.  When a woman is hypercritical of a guy, he loses interest in intimacy quite quickly.  Guys are sensitive to personal criticism.  If you are hoping for a great evening or weekend, then curb the criticism. Of course, this applies to all areas, but certainly, you should be careful of critiquing their performance during intimacy. That is a real ego buster, turning him off and should be avoided if at all possible.

The Multi-Tasker

I have heard from guys who swear that their wives or girlfriends are multitasking during sex: and I am not talking about the totally hot way you are thinking about.  I heard of one guy whose wife admitted that she sometimes made a mental grocery list during their intimate moments. He related that it was a huge intimacy killer.  He wanted to know that she was engaged and totally into the act. So ladies, if you find your mind is wandering…try to become more present.

The Disheveled

The final thing I will mention is your appearance. Now don’t listen to Hollywood or the magazines at the checkout.  Most guys don’t expect you to look like the airbrushed, super-fit models that Western society shoves at us.  They recognize that “real” women don’t have perfect bodies; and they are cool with that.  They don’t mind a few extra pounds, stretch marks, or even a less than hourglass figure. What they do mind is a woman who doesn’t take care of herself physically.

Wear clean clothes. Splash on a little perfume from time to time.  Do your hair.  Even if you are more into the “natural” look, don’t look like you just crawled out of a dumpster.  Women who project a lack of self-care and self-respect irritate men, and greatly reduce the chances he will be interested in sharing an intimate experience with her.

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Guys; am I on track?  What is the number one thing women do to turn you off?  Am I right about their physical appearance?  If you are a guy reading this (and I know you are!) how about chiming in to support me on this. Ladies, any feedback?  I have had my say, and now it’s your turn.  Will you share some of your stories about how to avoid turning him off?