The Key to Making Your Relationship Last
From the day we are born we attach to our parents or caregivers in a specific way, but did you know that as adults, these very same attachments occur in romantic relationships?
Research shows that the way adults behave, or act in relationships, is pre-determined by which attachment type we fit into. Once you recognize the different types of attachment and identify which one you are, you will be able to understand other people actions and reactions more effectively – and work towards transforming your relationship, or finding your perfect match.
There are four main attachment types that people fit into:
This type of attachment is the most common of the four, with slightly more than half the people in the world being secure. If you fit into this group, you:
- Are effective at expressing your needs and feelings with your partner.
- Understand the importance of not only taking, but also giving in the relationship.
- Are comfortable with intimacy.
Secure people tend to have a calming effect on people with other attachment types, and while they may seem boring to those other types at first, they tend to be more reliable and be the most fulfilled with their relationships.
About 20 percent of people fit into this attachment type. If you are one of them, you:
- Crave intimacy and often have anxiety or doubts regarding your partner or your relationship.
- Experience negative emotions and become anxious that your partner doesn’t want to be as close as you do, or doesn’t love you to the extent that you love them.
- Take it personally when your partner is in a negative mood and take their actions personally, even when it has nothing to do with you.
People that fit into the anxious attachment type fit well with secure types, but more often than not they will end up with avoidants, who will only feed their anxious tendencies.
About a quarter of the world’s population fit into the avoidant type. If you are a part of this attachment type, you:
- Regard intimacy as being a loss of independence, so you attempt to minimize any intimacy by withdrawing and become emotionally distant.
- Have a basic need for attachment but easily feel suffocated.
- Do not understand your partner’s needs, or emotional and mental states.
People that fit into this type often only have short relationships and don’t usually date other avoidants.
This attachment type is quite rare and only makes up 3-5 percent of the population. If you are a part of this type, you:
- Aren’t comfortable with a lot of intimacy.
- Are concerned with how available your partner is, and have doubts regarding the relationship.
While we all fit into a certain attachment type, it doesn’t mean you have to be stuck there forever. NLP can help you to change your attachment type, and life coaching can help you to get the relationship that you want.
What attachment type do you think you fit into?