Everyday we are faced with choices. There is not a person on this planet that has not at one time or another made a poor choice. We all make mistakes. Sometimes, we make the same mistake more than once. What drives us to do the same thing over and over again if we know that the outcome won’t be positive? We are habitual creatures and the universe will continue to throw us the same curve ball over and over again until we learn the lesson.
Over the years I have made many mistakes and I have paid dearly for some of them. I am not a perfect person, but at this stage of the game of life, I work extremely hard every day to be the best me that I can be. However, I will state this very clearly for all of your eyes to read. I would not be the person I am today and love myself, if I had not made those mistakes and made the changes I needed to make to feel whole. I would not have found vulnerability, authenticity, transparency, myself, my purpose nor would I have gained the life experience that enables me to help you. So, although I am not proud of all my choices in life…I am extremely grateful.
The amount of pain and suffering that we must personally go through to learn our lessons is different for every person. For me, looking back, my magic number in all categories was 3, with increasing consequences each time. It is only through introspection of our own trials and tribulations that we gain the value , not from the assumptions and judgments from others.
Every day we have some kind of divine intervention. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of becoming conscious to the daily lessons placed in front of us. It is the SINGLE most important routine thing we need to do everyday, like brushing your teeth.
At some point we have no option but to take a good hard look at ourselves and make a choice to change. At some point we have to strip down to the very core of our existence and desire more. Most of you know this feeling. It’s that little voice in your head and that gnawing in your stomach that says, “something is missing.” It is every time you say to yourself “I wish…” When we get to this point we must forgive ourselves. We must develop a “whatever it takes” attitude. This is the first real step to self-love and the first step to change. This first step once it is felt, is stronger and more powerful than any other habitual thought or action you have ever had and it will change your life for the better. IT IS and will be an energy that takes over your entire being and that energy is called love.
In my case, I felt that I needed to start from scratch. Removing myself from people, places and things that distracted me from finding me and who I REALLY am. Mind you, because of my poor choices, I did get some unwanted outside assistance with this along the way, as well as a rude awakening. This was not an easy task at all, but well worth it in the long run. Again, gratitude. Once we are stripped of the person we have come to believe we are, we find balance, we find love and we rebuild. We learn to live for NOW. We build a structure from within and we fight our fears, one at a time. The wall of fear quickly crumbles and years of pain become easier to understand, accept, challenge, eliminate and love.
The past is just that, the past. We cannot change our past, we cannot run from it and we certainly cannot hide from it. However, we can choose not to suffer, deal with it and fight not just to survive, but to conquer, for ourselves first and foremost, for our own well-being. When we do this we open a space and that space offers a trickle down effect for others and enhances all areas of our life.
I am sure some of you are reading this and thinking, why? Why change? Everything seems to be going just fine. I have a good job, I have a nice house, my relationship is great, I have good friends…etc., Everything is just perfect. Is that really true or does it just look that way from the outside? I am not here to challenge your beliefs or your truth, unless of course you wish to challenge it yourself. I am here to say that even the most seemingly perfect people, with great jobs and credibility in many areas of life have struggles, obstacles, things they can improve upon and wish, want or need for something. If that is the case, I urge you to at the very least, investigate what that might be. If you are seeking something…ask yourself why you do not have it…YET. I emphasize the word “yet” because it is achievable if you realize we are not perfect, but we can almost always find a reason to change for the better if we REALLY want it and can own our own role in any scenario. Don’t place blame on others, it’s not their fault. Look within, that is where we find the answers.
My reason was me…without me…there can be no we.
It is within the “we” and the connections we build that universal love can truly exist.
I leave you with this thought…”It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes”~Sally Field