Have you ever found yourself in a relationship that just doesn’t feel right relationship that just doesn’t feel right? Have you ever wondered if your feelings are love or just relief that you do not have to be alone? The truth is that when we are in relationships that are supposed to be based on love, anything else is just a counterfeit.
The human heart was created with the need for love and companionship. We are, at our core, social beings. No one has yet been able to define what exactly love is, but we certainly know what it is not. You owe it to yourself not to settle for less than love in a relationship. However, knowing whether or not you are in love can be difficult at times. Here are some questions that can help you determine whether or not it is love, or just someone there.
Could I Envision Life Without This Person?
Now realistically, there are days when even the people we love can drive us to the edge of insanity. However, if you can envision a future in which you could be happy without the individual in question, then you may not actually be in love with them.
When we are connected by love, it is hard to imagine what we would do without the object of our love. It is even hard to imagine how we ever got along without them in the first place. However, someone who simply fills a relationship void will not produce the same feelings within us. You should definitely not make a decision based on one indicator alone, but if you can see life being good without them, then it might be time to move on. If, on the other hand, you cannot imagine not having them in your life, then even temporary irritations are worth putting up with for the sake of the relationship long-term.
Do I Find Myself Envying the Relationships of Others?
Someone once said that marriage is like a buffet: you sit down with your plate and see something on someone else’s plate that you wish you had gotten! I think that is basically true. I may see aspects of another person’s relationship that I admire, or even wish to emulate, but that is different from wishing I had what they have.
If you are constantly envying the loving relationships of your friends and co-workers, then it is time to ask why that is? What is it about your relationship that leads you to wish you could have a different one? Is it because you are not investing any time in your own relationship, or is it because you see real love in their relationship but not in your own? That is a question that needs to be answered, and only you know the answer.
Am I so Desperate for Companionship That I am Unwilling to Wait for Love?
This is a tough question that requires personal honesty. Sometimes love takes time. You can go out and pick up a cheap substitute if you want to, but that is what you will get: a cheap substitute. Is that really what you want?
Do not be in such a hurry for companionship that you miss the opportunity to find real love. You know the old cliché, “Marry in haste, repent in leisure.” The reason it is an old cliché is because it has remained true throughout the ages. Love cannot be rushed. However, when you find it, you will know. Don’t let the relationship status of your friends, or family pressure you into settling for the first thing that comes along. Test the waters, meet people, enjoy interacting with people you are interested in, but don’t commit until you know it is love. You don’t want to wake up in a relationship where two people are just filling a role, but feeling no love.
I am certainly not advocating you trash you current relationship, but I am saying that you should not settle for anything other than true love in your life. So what about you? Have you found yourself in a relationship that was loveless? What did you do about it? Were there any specific reasons that you felt that you could not get out of it? I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject, and I am sure there are many others who could benefit from your experience. If you have something to offer, please leave a comment and let us know your thoughts.