Breakup mood busters that may be causing you harm
Breakups suck. When a flame dies down you get left with a lot of empty space and time to fill. You’ll find a lot of (often unsolicited) advice on how to deal, but that doesn’t mean you should follow it all! Here are some popular post-breakup behaviors that might feel good at first, but will leave you feeling even worse than before later!
1. Bad-mouthing your ex
While it might make you feel better to bad-mouth him/her right now, it’ll only make you feel like a hypocrite later! You saw something in them once, and that’s got to count for something! deciding that you are no longer compatible as a couple doesn’t mean that you can’t at least be civil to each other! Even if your ex turned out to be a liar or a cheat- taking the high road and handling the situation with grace and dignity will be something you’ll thank yourself for later!
2. Stalking him or her on social media
This sort of goes back to number one, as most people do this dirty deed in order to look for new details about their ex to gossip about! It’s true that you might find some self-centered lyrics to scoff at or some super example of karma kicking their butts. It might even feel good in the moment to make fun of these things However, you are very likely to find that they are doing just fine without you… and the resulting rejected feeling you’ll get just isn’t worth it!
3. Refusing to wallow at all
It IS a good idea to eliminate certain reminders of your ex so that you aren’t constantly reminded of him or her. For example, you should feel totally comfortable telling him to take his hoodie home or telling her to tote her toothbrush back to her own bathroom! However, denying yourself the ability to process your feelings and acknowledge the grief that goes along with losing a significant other isn’t healthy!
4. Seeking Out a Rebound
A little newly-single nookie can be a mood-booster for sure! Just make sure that you are emotionally prepared for the fall out that comes with falling into bed with someone new so quickly. If you’re looking to get back with your ex later on, seeking out a rebound might seriously damage your chances to do so. Even if you’re not, though, a rebound hookup gone wrong can make your self-esteem plummet even farther than the breakup already made it.
5. Partying it Up
It’s great to ‘get back out there’ and have a night or two out with friends to take your mind off of things. You shouldn’t be drowning your true emotions in booze or using all of the ‘fun’ you are having to pretend that you’re fine, though!
The bottom line? Just be honest with yourself throughout the whole healing process, and don’t deny yourself the opportunity to feel what you’re going through. That’s the only way to really grow and learn from the experience, rather than just pretend it never happened.