Do you have an “ex?” Are you spending way too much time focused on what they are saying about you? Why do we do that? I mean, c’mon! They are an “ex!” Why do we care so much about what they think? If they really understood us and valued us they wouldn’t have been the “ex” in the first place…right?” Sometimes an “ex” just won’t go away. Their words find a way into our heads and just stay there like the lines of an annoying song that we just can’t seem to get out of our head. We know it’s stupid. We know it doesn’t make any sense, and yet we keep replaying the statements over and over to ourselves. They seem to have way too much input on our self-esteem.
So, what does the ex say? What is the kind of noise they spew about us? Here are some of the lyrics they sing. Have you ever heard these lines?
“You are Nothing but a Jerk”
I mean, really, what do you expect your “ex” to say? The idea of a mutually agreed upon separation that is amicable, where you smile at each other and remain best friends is not reality for most people. I am not saying that being called a jerk is easy to take; I am simply saying that you shouldn’t take it to heart. Your “ex” has to vilify you so that they can feel better about themselves. Lucky you!
“You Are Just a Worthless Bum”
Look, never let an “ex” define your worth. Those who do not love you do not determine your worth. For that matter; your worth is not even determined by those who do love you. You determine your worth. Just because someone else now desires to label you and define what you are does not make it so. You can’t really expect an “ex” to think you are an awesome person. After all, if they thought that, they probably wouldn’t be an “ex.”
“You’re not Capable of Love”
Really? They didn’t think that at one time. Isn’t it funny that when someone breaks ups with us, they decide that we are not what they at one time swore that we were? So, they were either lying then, or they are lying now. Either way they are a liar and don’t deserve to be listened to. Now, certainly there are people who seem incapable of love, but that is usually not the problem. The important thing is not internalize the labels placed on us by the “ex”. They have walked out of our lives, and do not deserve the right to define who we are. In fact, no one deserves that right. We should be based on mutual love and respect, not a desire to change the other person.
Don’t Internalize the Lyrics
You can’t stop your “ex” from singing the same song over and over, but you don’t have to keep pressing play. You don’t have to internalize their criticisms and snide comments. Move on with your life and find someone who affirms you as an individual. I know that their comments keep playing over and over in your head, but don’t believe them. In fact, find someone who will replace those statements with statements of affirmation and love. Let the “ex” sing their song. It’s probably all they have left since they lost you.
Do you have an “ex” that just won’t go away? Do you find yourself paying way too much attention to what they have to say? How do you deal with an “ex” that has nothing but criticism for you, and seems to still find their way into your life, even though the relationship is over? If you have some feedback or advice on this topic, please leave a comment below and let us know “what the ‘ex’ says.” How do you deal with it?