3 Ways to Avoid Falling in Love With an Illusion and How to Rescue Yourself
The typical romantic fairytale story goes something like this: a wonderful and special woman falls in love with a handsome prince. She falls prey to harm and he magically rescues and restores her thereby elevating her to princess status. But this is real life. How many times have we seen a wonderful and special woman fall in love with a “prince” only to discover that she has fallen in love with an illusion and his princely robes are hiding a fire-breathing dragon? Just how can we wonderful and special women save ourselves from those dragons in prince clothing and learn to rescue ourselves?
Before you search for your handsome prince, be certain that you are your own princess
Until we are whole and able to stand on our own, finding a healthy relationship is little more than a crapshoot. When we are missing part of ourselves, we are likely to search for something to complete us and we can fall in love with an illusion mistaking it for what we really need. When we enter the dating world with an unhealed conflict we are likely to recreate that conflict time and again in different forms until we solve it and mistake that connection for love. When we are simply lonely, we seek companionship with less consideration of the quality of that companionship. Dating, when we are not our best selves, can be time shared with people we enjoy, it can introduce us to people from whom we can learn and it can be time well spent, provided that we do not enter into a relationship until we are truly princess of our kingdom. Work with a relationship coach can help to prepare you for the dating process. Do not search for the prince to rescue you, rescue yourself. Operating from a position of weakness opens you to falling in love with an illusion because you cannot see what is real. You will not find a prince until you reign.
Do not fall prey to harm by kissing a toad, getting locked in a tower or losing your tongue
Each princess opened the door to her harm — Cinderella stayed out past curfew and the little mermaid traded away her tongue and her beautiful voice for the chance to live on dry land and enchant her handsome prince. As you embark on the path of a new relationship it is crucial that you do so wisely and carefully. Take time to get to know the person before you make too great a step. True character takes at least 90 days to be revealed across the spectrum of real life circumstances, ones that you would need to face in your real lives together. Do not trade away important parts of your life or yourself to make a relationship work. If you and he cannot meet minds as you and he really are, you have fallen in love with an illusion and it will not stand the test of time. Listen to your trusted friends and family, often they can see things that you are temporarily blinded to. Most of all, listen to your inner voice. Chances are, you know when you are putting yourself in harm’s way and into a toxic relationship.
Awaken, Rescue and Restore Yourself. Elevate Yourself to Princess Status
Even the wisest princess can find herself a damsel in distress. First and foremost, do not lose faith in yourself. While you may have made a bad decision, you are not a bad decision. You found your way into this, you can find your way out and rescue yourself. Restore yourself by nurturing and loving yourself. Now is the time to draw upon all of your resources — your family, your friends and those you trust. Put together a plan. A trusted coach can help guide this process.
With a little wisdom, a princess can avoid kissing a toad and falling in love with an illusion, rescue herself and live happily ever after. She can even welcome a prince to her kingdom.