Fluke Or Flounder And When To Cut Bait
In the world of dating, there are tons of fish in the sea. How do you know if what you have caught is Fluke or Flounder? One of our greatest assets is having the right to set our own boundaries and knowing when to cut bait. Learning when you should do that will save you tons of anguish, frustration and time.
If the man you are dating demonstrates any of the following signs–HE is a Fluke. Cut bait and cast out again until you catch the Flounder.
He refers to women as the “B word”
Bitch, Broad or Babe
It is nothing more than blatant disrespect, especially during the courtship of a relationship. So you can choose to walk away at that moment or challenge any sign of disrespect early in a relationship, and, if it persists, get out.
He’s a Mamma’s Boy
There’s nothing wrong with a man who loves his mother, but if you see signs that his loyalty to mom includes her purchasing new sheets for the bedroom, rearranging furniture, choosing his career path or he makes comments like “my mother does it this way,” then its time to make a hasty retreat. A man who can’t think for himself or always sides with his mother instead of with you is a Mamma’s boy and doesn’t possess a good sense of emotional responsibility that a real woman craves.
Fluke or Flounder?
He’s a Narcis-shit
This is the guy that is most undesirable. Ladies they are running rampant! Interestingly, my research has shown that 9 out of 10 men that have fallen into this category are Gemini’s. You know they guy–Me, me, me and more about me. The guy that refuses to look at his own crap and decipher his role in anything. He is the man (and I use the term loosely) that likes to have his cake and eat it too! The guy who wants everything his way. They are unstable, consistently inconsistent, self-serving, have an agenda that ONLY meets his needs and treat women like they are a convenience rather than a gift to be cherished. He is the ultimate manipulator, storyteller, excuse maker and definition of a train wreck. You will know this man within 5 minutes, IF you pay close attention. IF you think for two seconds you have what it takes to change this man, think again. You don’t! IF you have a desire to attempt being with this man, best served to explain right from the get go, your time is significant too and you have opinions, concerns, and dreams that are just as important as his are and any potential mate needs to acknowledge and respect that. “Treat me like a Queen and I will treat you like a King, treat me like a game and I will show you how to play.” If you go that route, you seriously need to analyze your own self-worth. They don’t change. They are clueless people who are so self-absorbed they don’t even realize they can be beat at their own game. We are the ones with the power. They are the bottom feeders…CUT BAIT.
He has unresolved issues
A lot of women get into relationships with men that have some kind of boundary crossing dysfunction—guaranteed you will spend the rest of your life dealing with a myriad of problems associated with their lifestyle, which will eventually overshadow their own lives and goals as well as yours and strip you of your identity and dignity. Issues — like drugs, gambling, alcohol, women, porn, sex and attention whores — often require a lifetime of management and counseling. So, if you suspect your man has a problem, it’s best to cut bait and keep on moving.
He’s not honest and/or trustworthy
Lies are lies: Included but not limited to omissions within the entire truth (leaving out important details), fabrications of the truth, (taking a piece of the truth and creating a whole new story line) We all bend the truth from time to time, ESPECIALLY right in the beginning of a new relationship. There’s a big difference between saying something like, “I have some things that have happened in my life and I will share them with you as soon as our relationship builds more and I feel trust” and “I am going to be at a meeting in San Francisco for the weekend on business,” when in fact NONE of the story is true. Big lies set the foundation for a lack of trust, and when you can’t trust your man, you’re most likely headed for a life of unnecessary anxiety, frustration and big-time drama. They have no trust in themselves and certainly no respect for you. Cut bait!
He is a Player
Playing the field where all the females dwell. Got game? They use woman for sex or attention in other emotional or physical roles. Usually consisting of more than one partner at a time, while pretending you are the only one. When caught, the true player will tell you whatever he feels he needs to say to confuse you, keep you playing the game and yes, even feel guilt about what HE has done! He is also the same guy that wants you to be exclusive and takes offense when you clearly state to him “anything you can do, I can do better.” The guy who will commit to your face, if and when it is convenient for him and then prove his ill intent by keeping you secret and making sure the rest of the world knows he is single and available. He follows a list of rules, written most likely by another man who has commitment issues and doesn’t take into account anyone else’s emotions. Special note: you will receive Facebook friend requests, emails, texts and even phone calls from women telling you how they were played. Balls, said the Queen, if I had two I’d be King. He is nothing but a hater– Cut bait!
He has Peter Pan Syndrome (Feel free to sing along)
He lacks ambition
A man without enough ambition to achieve a goal — any type of goal — typically isn’t a man who’ll make a good life partner for a woman. “Women that truly understand the definition of ambition have a hard time tolerating a man that demonstrates that he has no ambition in life or love. If your man is a “why bother” and lacks the understanding of the value of “yes, WE can,” cut bait
He’s a cheater
Character Flaw-Rule of thumb-If it happens once, it will happen again. Even if he swears he’ll never do it again, you will never trust him again. We may forgive, (if we are stupid), but we never forget. Life is too short to be constantly concerned with any man with infidelity issues. There are plenty of fish in the sea… Cut your losses by cutting him loose.
He isn’t the right candidate
There is a reason for the interview process. Let’s face it-anyone can write a resume and fill out an application. However it is within the interview process we determine if the applicant is a good candidate for the position. Having a stellar resume is only as good as the cup of coffee we place upon it during the face to face meeting and it certainly doesn’t guarantee he will be a good fit. But after a few dates, it becomes apparent that he probably won’t mesh well in the company environment (friends, family and the company policies and procedures, a.k.a. boundaries) If you decide to hire the candidate, do so at your own risk, but make sure The 90 Day Dating Contract is signed before moving forward. If he won’t sign …Cut bait.
