Creating and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries are the mental, emotional and even physical limits that we create for ourselves which prevent outside forces from getting into our personal space and defining who we are and how we live our lives. These boundaries preserve our integrity and give us the power to take responsibility for our own actions and take control of our life.
Establishing personal boundaries can be challenging and we can easily feel like we are being selfish by letting others know what we want and what isn’t acceptable for us. We need to realize that each and every one of us deserves to be treated the way that we want and it is more than OK to put ourselves first.
Maintaining these boundaries can be just as hard, if not harder, than creating them in the first place. How many of you have ever said yes to something even though you really didn’t want to do it – or said no to someone and then felt guilty about it afterwards? Have you ever changed your opinion or point of view about something just to please others in a bid for acceptance?
These are classic examples of having weak personal boundaries and over time we can become accustomed to thinking that our own feelings and needs don’t count. We leave ourselves wide open to being taken advantage of and it can have a really negative impact on our emotional health and the way we ultimately live our lives.
If you find yourself constantly accommodating everyone else’s needs and going against your own personal values and beliefs then it’s time to take a step back and re-evaluate who you are as a person, what you really want out of life and what boundaries that you can set, to reclaim your true sense of self.
Another important thing to consider is that other people have boundaries too. Once you have created your own, have a think back and see if you can remember a time when you may have crossed someone else’s boundaries – such as making a decision for them that wasn’t yours to make.
Everyone has their own boundaries that are unique to them so make sure you listen to other people’s needs and when it comes to your own personal limits, if you need to speak up and assert yourself, do it!
What are some boundaries that you would like to set for yourself that you haven’t been able to yet?